Every person has a primary love language that they must learn to speak in order for themselves and their partner to feel loved. According to the concept, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love.
Luke and I are nearing our two-year mark of being together and I’m feeling all sorts of giddy and romantic this week. Through the course of our two years together we have learned many things. From figuring out the ropes of a long-distance relationship to spending a lot of time together, gaining new responsibilities and ultimately growing with each other. We’ve had our ups and downs like all couples but I think we’ve got a pretty good handle on this thing called “love.”
Until today, I had never heard of the 5 Love Languages. I had always assumed that there was one universal way to show love, but according to this theory, I’m mistaken. The 5 Love Languages are as follows: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Every person has a primary love language that they must learn to speak in order for themselves and their partner to feel loved. According to the concept, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love.
I found that my primary love language is Words of Affirmation. This was no surprise to me. The words “I love you” and “I appreciate you” are important to me but so are hearing the reasons behind that love. Just like how compliments make me feel loved, insults and criticism affect me negatively. Insults can leave me shattered and are not easily forgotten. I thrive on kind, encouraging, and positive words.
I had Luke complete the questionnaire and interestingly, he tied in three categories: Acts of Service, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. It seems as though all three are very important to him. He is just as happy to hear the words “I love you” as he is when I make dinner or spend time running errands with him.
I feel like I have gained a whole new insight on our relationship and feel like this realization will help me become a better partner.
This theory can be used across all channels of relationships. Romantic relationships, friendships and child/parent relationships alike can benefit from the 5 Love Languages.
What’s your love language? Take the test here to find out! How have you reconciled having a different love language than that of a loved one?